--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!)?

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . . They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the *Censored* out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
==========================
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Actually, this is because in the old days farming was the major industry in the US, and during the winter farmer's would end up with less daylight time to get their work done. What they did was the moved the clocks back an hour so they could get started earlier, which gave them an extra hour a day. This was fine, but in the spring, they had to set the clocks back ahead or the daylight time got all out of whack.



It took you 40 years to learn this?

That's a funny list man.

actually, that is not the case.
http://familyinternet.about.com/cs/holiday...ylightfacts.htm

Interesting link. Thanks for posting.

lol the first case is also called a sleeping volcano!:P