You know you are old when...

....your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

....your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

.....the porn you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis".

....a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.

.....you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

....you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

....when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

....when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

...."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

...."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

.... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

.....You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

.......Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

....these are funny. WOW. Fatbasturd is still around! Wow! Hey, guys... its good to see you all. Wow.

Long time no see.

This thread is rather old.